I am sure you fellow moms can relate.
The bright yellow school bus pulls up in front of my home as I gaze out the window at the sight of my beautiful little smiling face daughter running through the front door, kicking off her shoes, and jumping straight into my arms as we embrace each other tightly. I am so utterly happy to see my little adorable princess, but not so happy to smell her as the rancid cheesy stench of her feet smacks me in the face HARD like a sack of steel. OMG. I am immediately engulfed in a thick cloud of preteen girl feet funk.
My eyes water, my nose starts to run as I choke uncontrollably from the horrid aroma that radiated from her feet.
“What’s the matter mommy? “She said as I wave my hand in front of my nostrils trying to fan away the reeking. I finally become un-paralyzed as I climb out of the thick green cloud of stank, and quickly open the windows which doesn’t help much.
“Sweetheart. Did you forget to wear socks with your Uggs — AGAIN?” I said with my nose scrunched up.
“Sorry!” she said simply.
I didn’t want to hurt my little angel’s feelings, but had to do something to stop her from wearing shoes with no socks, but then again, to be honest, even when she wears socks, it stinks to high heaven.
There is just something in preteen girls foot sweat that produced the most grossest putrid, cheesy, rotten egg and vinegary stench you can imagine. Sorry, mom’s with little boys, don’t mean to discriminate, but you are not in the club and just wouldn’t understand. You can complain about your little boys all you want, but the smell of boys feet no matter what the age or the sport that they play cannot even come close to the awful cheesy raunchy smell of little girls feet. Read other mom blogs who agree with me or you can easily check out the national Odor Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest where little GIRLS usually win unless a boy cheats by putting poop, pea or trash in their shoes.
“It’s ok, sweetie,” I said, patting her on the head. “But you have to remember that wearing shoes without socks makes your adorable little feet even more stinky than when you wear them with socks.”
She just smiles and nods as I quickly usher her up to the bathroom to draw her a nice EXTRA soapy bath.
The next day the smell returns at it’s worse.
She wins her soccer game, and I and daddy are so proud of our little stinker, and I do mean STINKER.
As we enter the car for our long ride home, all of a sudden BAM!!! … the stench and extra cheesy toxic vapors returns violently, swooshing from the backseat with full force in tornado form, but this time it’s doubled it’s powers as me and my hubby choke as if we’ve been hanging out with Cheech, Chong, and Snoop Dog at the SmokeFest if you know what I mean.
“OH MY GAWD, Bella! — PEE-YEW!!!” I growled loudly, pinching my nose tightly, and gasping for air. “P-p-p- please for the love of sweet baby Jesus born in Bethlehem, put your cleats back on or we all are gonna die.”
“Why?“ she asked sheepishly and confused with narrowed eyes.
“BECAUSE YOUR FEET SMELL LIKE ROADKILL” rudely yells my hubby, his hand covering his nose as vomit threatens to release itself into the polluted atmosphere like teargas.
Down the windows came immediately as we desperately try our best to suck in the fresh air. How can such a horrific stench be released from such cute and adorable little girl feet? Never in my 40 years on this planet that we call earth have I ever smelled such a rancid stench. Worse than anything my mind can cook up.
The smell resembles an old block of moldy Limburger cheese that’s sat marinading in a bucket of moldy rotten vinegar, with slivers of rotten eggs crumbled on-top, old corn chips and old stale movie popcorn that had been soaked in ammonia for weeks. And that’s putting it lightly.
Little girls might have the prettiest feet on earth, but obviously the worse smelling. Ewwwww….😷
Please post your comments below if you have little GIRLS with the same stinky feet issues and if you have advice on ridding them of it. I hear that they grow out of it when they reach womanhood, which is obviously true because come to think about it, I had the stink too when I was her age.